This post is not about stupid children with names, it's about stupid names for children (or stupid parents with children). There seems to be a modern trend in the naming of children that leaves a lot to be desired. Nurses, teachers and childcare workers must bare witness to most of these with so many young children passing them by.
There tends to be two categories of stupid child names:
- Outlandish names that come from words that were never meant to be names like Apple, Rainbow or Horseradish.
- Moronic spellings of normal names like Kymberleigh, Jazmin or Taiylah.
All parents want the best for their children, but some seem to have this instinct confused with the want to name their child something 'unique' because they are under the impression that their child is special and different in this world (wrong). There would be no problem with this as long as the naming didn't defy every rule in the English language and permanently damage the child's chances for a normal life. Unfortunately, this is normally the case.
Think about your child's future of endless correction "No, it's Madison spelt Maddisonne" or the looks of disbelief when they introduce themselves at their first job interview as Trixibella. Stop it! Just stop it before I contact child services!
Now of course, variation in spelling of names doesn't need to be crazy. Take Katherine or Catherine, Allen or Alan. Also some different names may have historic or cultural backgrounds, but the name should still be pronounceable and not make my head self-destruct when I hear it.
Bottom line is, if you decide to name your child something stupidly different and they grow up with half a brain, they will be cursing you for years to come.
"So, what's your name?"
"Olivia, spelt Alyvya"
"Oh?"
"Yeah, my parents are morons".
Anyone have any real-life crazy names worth sharing?